1999

1/11/99 Jason Nachamkin csu-atmos

At Christmas, David Mocko gave his sweetheart, Alison, a snowflake necklace to match the earrings he gave her last Christmas. Jason came to visit them, saw the earrings, and said "Oooh, nice dendrites!".

1/11/99 Charlotte DeMott csu-atmos

Paul DeMott noticed Charlotte expressing bewinderment while reading to daughter Maggie from a "point to the picture - find the word" book. 
	Says Maggie while pointing to a picture of an airplane,
	"A...A...Airplane," then finds the word in the list.
	
	Says Charlotte while pointing to the clouds in the picture,
	"A...A...Altocumulus. Hey they don't have that one on there!"

2/1/99 Frank Marks, Jim Kossin, Matt Eastin hrd, csu-atmos

It was a dark and smokey pub, on the other side of the tracks, south side of Dallas. Neon signs hissed in the darkness as colored light refracted off broken beer bottles and pavement sparkles. A handfull of AMS refugees had gathered there at the Copper Tank on a Thursday night in January to nurse some local brews and burn a stogie. Some had given talks, others presented posters, but all were trying to collect their thoughts and unwind after a blistering week of mind-numbing atmospheric revelry.

Inside the pub, conversation drifted and music throbbed - young urban professional males attempted to interact with female counterparts in stochastic fashion, occasionally convincing one to writhe for a moment or two on the dance floor. In the corner, pool tables,aaaaaaaa fussball, and air hockey beckoned.

Suddenly, a small group formed around a table and stood transfixed for the better part of an hour, completely oblivious to the pulse of humanity swirling around them.

Was it ale sampling? a poker game? a philosphical discussion? No, the faint blue glow reflected in Jim Kossin's and Matt Eastin's face betrayed the presence of Frank Marks' laptop computer in their midst. What could they be staring at with such intensity?

supermodels? stock market returns? Wrong again - apparently the night life charms of a Dallas brewpub at 11:30 pm were no match for the lure of animated hurricane radar images...

2/8/99 Dave Keller

Stumpf was reminded of a time several years ago when Dave brought his weather radio into Garfield's restuarant in Norman OK, a place where they put the freezer paper on the table and give you crayons. He used the obs on the weather radio and the crayons to plot the hourly obs! Then, when tone alter went off when the Tornado Watch was issued, he quickly paid his tab and bolted out the door.

2/8/99 Don Dazlich csu-atmos

During a noon hour workout with 5 CSU Atmos folks, the discussion of the previous night's low temps ensued. Doug Cripe mentioned his low was -10C and and wondered what that was in farenheit. IMMEDIATELY with no pause whatsoever, Don chirped up that it was 14F. Nice goin, Don.

2/22/99 Don Lloyd

Don, Wisconsin resident/chaser, and likely future inheriter of The Gilbert Zone offers the next level of video gaming for the Nintendo or Sega system near you!

STORMCHASER! the Game!(c)!!!
Yes, that's right, "STORMCHASER! the Game!(c)" is now available for those long winter nights when SDS has driven you to watching the water drain out of your bathtub, again, again, and again.
Incredible 64-bit action right on your PC! This amazing game generates random scenarios complete with surface maps, upper air data, and model runs of the RUCII and ETA. You make the forecast, plan the chase route, and drive there in style one of six preset chase vehicles including Carson Ead's Stormtracker and the infamous Meatwagon!
Several great modes of play:

Never chased before? Baffled by all that stoopid weather jargon like ageostrophic and isentropic? Get great chase pointers from an onboard panel of advisers including Tim Marshmallow, Greg Stumped, Psycho Jim, and Gene Less!
Why waste thousands of dollars and all that time running around the Plains when you know you're gonna bust anyway! Stay home, crack open a six-pack, and have some real fun!
Order now and receive a dozen microwavable Allsup's burritos at no extra charge!!! Offer only good to the first 30,000 orders.
Order STORMCHASER! the Game!(c) NOW!!! 1-800-555-1212

2/22/99 Roger Edwards spc

While visiting the Texas Tech wind engineering department, the technicians shot a 2x4 into a solid brick re-inforced wall to demonstrate their famous air cannon. After watching the 2X4 go to a million pieces, Roger went over to the floor and grabbed the biggest piece to bring home with him.

3/15/99 Lt Richard Shull usaf

The A/C in Sgt Benjamin Wretlind's office was malfunctioning to the point of putting the Nexrad PUP out of commission. While the base civil engineers were in working on it, the office space became unevenly heated. 2nd Lt Richard Shull (new to the world of weather) walked from one end of the room to another and noticed a significant temperature differential. "Look!" he cried. "A baroclinic zone!" After saying this, he proceeded from the cold end to the warm end saying "I am a parcel! See me rise!"

3/22/99 Bob Stokes The Weather Channel

While discussing the storms in Texas and their effects on travel the other night, Bob commented that "tonight is a bad night to be out [on a date]...maybe you and your date should stay home, enjoy each other's company, watch the Weather Channel [etc.]."!

3/22/99 Greg Stumpf nssl

Is he bucking for it? Greg sent Iwitt the following. "check this out:
http://www.nssl.noaa.gov/~stumpf/candyswirl.jpg
this is a keylime after-dinner candy....note the well-formed reflectivity hook. (or course, turning it upside down gives the southern hemisphere version)."

4/2/99 Tim McClung nws-oxr

While Tim was giving spotter training seminar in January, he talked about tornado safety and mentioned about how they always hit trailer parks, except he didn't call them trailer parks...he inadvertently kept calling them "tornado parks."

4/26/99 Phillip Spencer nssl

A classic slipup in the true nature of the WWW... Phillip was with a friend who was concerned about sunburn on his nose. Phillip suggest he used some sunscreen, perferably SPC-40 (obviously, he meant to say SPF-40).

5/20/99 The Onion satirical newspaper

The Onion contains an article on "Tornado Violence" which can be seen at: http://www.theonion.com/onion3518/tornado_violence.html

5/26/99 George in Arkansas (uiogd@arkansas.net)

Arkansas F scale:

6/15/99 Gilbert Sebenste College of DuPage

Memorial Day he was forecasting with some students at the College of DuPage. After a trying day, Gilbert announced that he would pay for the first (and only) round of drinks. Everyone announced what they were going to have, but one person wasn't sure. Gilbert asked him, "Are you going to have a Red Rock?" (meaning "Rolling Rock", but thinking a certain tornado outbreak!).

7/30/99 Greg Walker NASA/GSFC

Austin Conaty saw Greg walking down the hail and wanted to show off the picture of his fiance Agnes. So Austin asked Greg - "Hey, do you want to see a picture of Agnes?". Greg responded excitedly with "Wow, you have a satellite picture of Hurricane Agnes from 1972?"

7/30/99 David Mocko NASA/GSFC

Numerous voters pointed out that David Mocko, who had nominated Greg Walker, wrote "walking down the HAIL" instead of "walking down the hall", so David was duly nominated. In his defense, David (one of the 3 'no' votes) said that the 'i' and 'l' were too similar to discern between on his particular font, but we're not buying it.

9/27/99 Connie Uliasz csu-atmos

While washing dishes, Connie noticed a soap bubble floating around the kitchen, and her thoughts immediately turned to 'the Lagrangian bubble' as it moved.

10/5/99 Jim Steenburgh UU

During a routine map briefing at the University of Utah, the briefer notices a line of cumulus clouds forming along a boundary parallel to the Utah-Nevada border, first south near Las Vegas, then later north near Elko and Wendover. Prof. Jim Steenburgh interrupts the briefer to comment:
"It must be from the gradient in CIN (sin)."
It took the briefer a moment to recover from the laughter in the room.

10/19/99 Steve Hodanish NWS Pueblo

Steve writes...
"I hate the idea of ratting on myself for the weather weenie of the week...but, during the Monday night game (Miami vs Buffalo), the Valvoline Oil commercial of the "baby in the womb of the mother" came on. This is the commercial that shows a sonogram of a baby in the womb with the kid wiggling around. This kid then takes a position as if he is starting a car, and then shifting the gears. The audio of the commercial has the "car" starting and revving as the fetus "shifts up in the gears".

One of the guys I was with never saw this commercial and started laughing. I then blurted out; "Nah, this commercial has been on for awhile, anybody who watches NCAR races on TV has seen this a million times". Obviously, I meant to say NASCAR..."

EDITOR'S NOTE: The WWW board was initiated with Steve in mind, and several of the reviewers referred to Steve as a "WWW Fellow" and a "Weenie Archetype". Nice to see you back on the board, Ho, and feel free to narc on yourself any day.

10/19/99 Mark Branson csu-atmos

While golfing, one of Mark's playing partners hit a shot that missed the target significantly to the right. Mark made the comment "we like storms that move to the right, but not necessarily golf shots".

11/18/99 John Fausett NWS El Paso

Check out this guy's homepage at El Paso office. http://nwselp.epcc.edu/elp/jgfbio.html

In particular click on the "Best of John Fausett" on that page. You need realplayer to listen to the songs.... This of course includes your favorite and mine..."Skywarn Spotter".

11/18/99 Gene Moore

Gene, a chaser from San Antonio, said, "A bigger question is what happens when we all get (really) old. I plan to make big bucks when I open the Inflow-Outflow Geriatrics Center for old (but not retired) chasers in Plainview TX. Each room will have May 3rd debris murals on the wall, the Weather Channel, furniture selected from various damage paths, DSL Internet connections and fast wheel chair/ gurney ramps to the facilities chase bus."

11/18/99 Sheila Long

Mark Branson was telling her that he might try to lure people to come to the upcoming 5mark3 (local garage band comprised of a number of Weather Weenies) show by announcing that they were going to raffle off a picture of lead guitarist from CSU Atmos, Mel Nichols. In reply to that, this is what she wrote: I THINK YOU SHOULD RAFFLE OFF A WEATHER WEENIE ITEM ??? WHAT WOULD THAT BE? A THERMOMETER? A CHASE VIDEO? A DUCK BAROMETRIC PRESSURE (YA KNOW THOSE LITTLE WATER ONES.... )

11/18/99 Steve Hodanish nws-pub & Ian Wittmeyer csu-atmos

These two simultaneously pointed out the possible existence of a supercell in the background of a scene from a "batteries plus" commercial.